We can always find a reason not to pursue our dreams, not to take action, not to stick our neck out. Our reasons seem perfectly…well…reasonable. We have this incredible ability to justify why we can’t do something – especially to ourselves. We can convince ourselves of almost anything; we are just being realistic, responsible and smart. It’s probably for the best; we didn’t really want it anyway.
So why do we do this? An excuse is just our mind’s way of telling us we don’t have to do something, when our heart knows we should.
There are many reasons why people make excuses. In fact everyone has different reasons for making them. However, when it boils down to it, we only make excuses for the following main reasons:
- Fear of Failure
- Fear of Embarrassment
- Fear of Success
- Fear of Change
- Fear of Uncertainty
- Fear of Responsibility
- Fear of Making Mistakes
- Perceived lack of confidence or resources
To eliminate excuses from our lives we must first look at eliminating all traces of fear.
Fear traps and locks us away within our comfort zone. Yet fear often develops as a result of a lack of understanding, information, resources, experience or perspective. If you lack all these things, you will naturally lack confidence, and as a result you will fail to take the action necessary to achieve your goals and objectives. Consequently you will tend to make excuses about your life and circumstances in order to help boost your self-esteem. However, all you are doing is creating the illusion of security.
Here’s how to stop making excuses once and for all so you can stop limiting yourself from reaching your full potential:
1. Remember: excuses only hurt you
Don’t want to go to the gym? Keep cancelling dinner with friends? Are you avoiding calls from your family?
By making excuses, you’re only hurting yourself. The moment you realise that, you’ll wake up and be more mindful of how your actions are affecting yourself and others. Our brains know that we have to push ourselves, and if we avoid pushing, we’ll create as many excuses as we can to justify our behaviour.
2. Avoid making comparisons
Making comparisons between yourself and others will often make you feel disheartened if you are unable to live up to people’s standards and achievements. Instead, only compare yourself to your “best self”. No other comparisons are necessary. If through your highest efforts you surpass your personal best, then that’s good enough, at least until your next attempt.
3. Begin by asking Questions
The moment you catch yourself making excuses, immediately ask yourself the following set of questions:
- How badly do I really want this?
- Why don’t I have what I want?
- What excuses are getting in the way?
This will help you to get a better understanding of the circumstances that are holding you back from getting what you want most out of your circumstances. The moment you identify these excuses, examine what you are lacking, question the validity of your excuses, and take immediate action to fill these areas with everything required to keep moving you forward towards your goals and objectives.
Ask yourself:
- Is this a genuine REASON, or is it simply an excuse?
- If this is an excuse, then what is it that I’m currently lacking?
- What do I need to do specifically that will help me move beyond this excuse?
- What’s the next step I need to take right now that will move me closer to my goals?
4. Refuse to allow yourself to give in. If you feel yourself falling into an old excuse, half the battle is identifying that you’re doing it.
Of course, sometimes, it’s important to know your limits. It’s one thing to say you will hang out with some friends in a couple weeks once your cold is better and it’s quite another to repeatedly talk yourself out of doing something you know you should do.
You’re only failing yourself if you keep letting yourself down. After your excuse funeral, take your power back! Don’t let your excuse bombs continue to drop.
Stop your thought process, assess the situation and press on without the excuses. You will be glad you did.
5. Start taking personal responsibility by shifting to an internal locus of control. Once you assume ownership for making your workplace more efficient, you can be a more effective contributor. Managers and employees who are more confident, initiate action, take steps, and influence others are seen as more respected and feel more successful at work.
- Taking responsibility also means owning up to mistakes without making excuses for them. Everyone makes mistakes, but being honest and accountable makes both learning from mistakes and getting over mistakes easier.
- Remind yourself that you have the power to influence your situation and environment. You can change if you make the choice to do so.
The Takeaway
Benjamin Franklin once said that: “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”
Excuses aren’t really reasons, they’re just how we justify not pursuing what we want in life. We can only succeed when we stop telling ourselves why we can’t and start living a life that shows we can.
